Sunday, April 28, 2013

04/27/2013 Vancouver Regionals Report: JADGE

Hi I'm ygo dooler LFN

I have just returned from the latest regionals in my area (for the record, we get like 2 a year :c )
Being the unmotivated dueler that I am, I had fully intended to play a troll deck and not take things as seriously as I normally would have.

At first, I was going to play this:




But then I went "oh, maybe I should try to accumulate more Tops."
So I was going to play this:



But then I got a message the day prior from our new Head Jadge Jack asking me to JADGE the event.
I am a considerate dooler, so how could I refuse?
Hence, it was JADGMENT TIME and I became a JADGE MAN, which is not to be confused with the ygo card Judge Man. Just so we're clear.

SADLY, THINGS GET WORSE FROM HERE. BUT ALSO BETTER. BUT MOSTLY WORSE.

During setup, it was determined from the tables and size of the venue that we would be capping attendance off at roughly 126 players, but wave upon wave of eager doolists and duelers still had yet to come in. Regrettably, even after squeezing in a total of 150 players, a sizable number of them (some from out of town) still had to be turned away. Angrily, they ground their teeth and cursed the ygo gods for all eternity

While registration was going on, I ended up helping a certain Head Judge sell some of his pervy anime sleeves and deckboxes (hehehe), but alas, my divine salesman performance was cut short, as the table I was using was needed for player use ;c
I also ended up lending my Blackship of Corn to Austin Kulman of Nationals 2006 fame but he has yet to give it back zzzzz

Finally, after registration ended, the decision to break for lunch was made, before Round 1 would commence. Smart!

THE FOLLOWING SEGMENTS DESCRIBE THE BEGINNINGS OF MY ILLUSTRIOUS JADGING CAREER

This was actually my first time ever judging a regional. I could only hope that I would not botch something major. Sadly, I did once, and likely ended up screwing one guy over with a side-decking issue. Sorry :c

*****

A few nights ago, I was testing Wind-Ups vs CQiao's Goldfish Gadgets. I was obviously winning a lot more because I am a dooler while he is but a mere dueler.
I was all like "nah man, it's fine, you got this, like seriously, how many Wind Ups are there actually going to be at this tournament? the odds of playing one are so slim, you should be fine!"
He ends up entering with Water, and promptly died in Round 1 to one of the few Wind-Ups present

Oh.

*****

A few rounds in, as I rushed down the short flight of stairs from the upper deck to the floor, I savagely yanked out one of the fucking railings by accident. Wow so strong. An accurate depiction is provided below:
It was incredibly loud. You would have to be deaf or absent from the venue to not have heard it.
Everyone in the room started clapping at this absurd fail

I had no idea what to do with my new-found piece of equipment, so I tried to reattach it. That did not work.

*****

It is quite likely that 148/150 of the doolists and duelers in attendance (or at least a significant chunk of them) had an issue, or had friends with issues, concerning a certain legendary American duelist (not Bandit Keith by the way).
I was too busy to bear witness, but apparently one of his opponents, an aspiring female doolette, was moved to tears (not in the good way) upon the conclusion of her fierce struggle against her significantly more experienced opponent. Thankfully, kind and empathetic Jadge JC was there to share the endless compassion within his noble heart, as he comforted her and led her to cease her soft tears. Unfortunately, that act of self-sacrifice drained him of his spirit, and he could no longer continue to act as Jadge for the rest of the day.

Though I was not within earshot, ygo dueler Will apparently went ballistic and launched a heartfelt tirade.
His wondrous monologue could likely have passed for a motivational speech, had it not been about ygo. Alas, though I am certain that the vast majority of the players in attendance inwardly expressed similar sentiments, verbal backlash of such magnitude was not considered appropriate, and ygo dueler Will was escorted from the room a martyr.

Hence it was up to I, Jadge LFN, to handle the "feature matches", as they were subsequently referred to as.
And by feature match I mean he was, perhaps unfairly, isolated from the rest of the tables, so that his technical mannerisms, while completely legal, could not serve as distractions to those playing around him, and so that he could play his matches in the presence of a Jadge aka me to ensure that everything went smoothly.
Apparently I did a good job because I handled 3 consecutive "feature matches", comprising the last 3 rounds.

I told the first 2 opponents to be very precise with their actions, and to announce everything they do.
Via a Gateway of the Six + Naturia Beast drop in game 3, and a bunch of BATTERYMAN (!!) / Hunder hybrid stuff, respectively, they won.

I forgot to tell the final opponent (Evilswarm mirror match) the same thing.
He lost.

How does that even work
Like I tell them, they win.
I don't tell the guy, he loses
Is this my fault

*****

Due to my excellent jadging prowess, I automatically made Top 8 and Top 4
wow that was easier than playing all 8 rounds

Also for the record, this was our hardworking Head Jadge after Round TWO. TWO!!!! (see below for accurate image)
In comparison, equally hardworking Jadge Bidier (who took and uploaded the aforementioned award-winning picture) was on Facebook like 300% of the time. Noob.


*****

Sadly I was only able to acquire 3 (three!) cards over the course of the event, though they were all picked up at decent prices [ ulti breakthrough skill / ulti mobius / DT Ptolemy M7 ]

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Locals Reports Compilation

This Locals Reports Compilation is a Compilation of Locals Reports

In recent weeks, most of my locals tournaments ended up being 3 rounds at most, either due to low participation, or dropping after a poor performance. Hence, each of those posts would probably take up like 2 paragraphs, which is hardly worth blogging about. However, I have managed to amass a few of those now:

1) I don't remember when this was but it was probably a Sunday tournament

This locals is filled with Samurai, Dark World, Rabbit, and other minimal-thinking decks. Yugioh!!

Round 1: I beat Dino Fist because ygo. He is a competent player though so it's ok
Round 2: I die to Water because ygo. He is a competent player though so it's ok
Round 3: I lose to this awful dark world player / build, but he still wins g3 when he Card Destruction's me, pitching Goldd, Silvva, and 2 Graphas. He then says good game and offers the handshake. Seriously? Fuck that LOL
1-2 drop!
I died so I did not receive a cut of the prize payout

2) some Thursday tournament

Round 1: I beat X-Sabers because it's X-Sabers
Round 2: I beat Water because Dweller and 3 backrows, and Banisher and 3 backrows, are both viable strategies
Round 3: I beat X-Sabers because it's X-Sabers
I win!
Participation was low so the prize payout was mediocre

3) some Thursday tournament

Round 1: I sweep the mirror match after he botches his wind-up combos
Round 2: I win games 2 and 3 against Water after getting OTK'd game 1
I win!
Participation was low so the prize payout was mediocre

4) some Sunday tournament 4/7/2013
This is the first tournament I've played in like 2 months where I've actually played more than 3 rounds lol (I think?)

This locals was still filled with Samurai, Dark World, Rabbit, and other minimal-thinking decks. Yugioh!!

Round 1: LFN (Toy Story) vs Ken (Dark World)
I win the dice roll
G1: He draws poop due to bad karma from using a degenerate deck, and I win
G2: I Solemn his last discard outlet to seal his fate.
Result: OO

1 dark world duelist down, 214132432 to go!
I watched as an evil mist enveloped him and forcibly dragged him down to the underworld

Round 2: LFN (Toy Story) vs Alex D (Dino Rabbit)
I win the dice roll again
He was sporting an Alter Reality Games mat, so I thought he would be good. Nope!
G1: This guy is awful, like when I burned a Mirror Force on Kaboozles + Maestroke (with materials) to stay alive, he chose to Lance the Maestroke LOL. But! He maindecks like 10 Fiendish Chains and 10 Jurrac Goobas, so eventually, we were both topdecking, but I am a sack so I rib a Little Girl off the top and kill him
G2: Laggia + Dolkka too strong
G3: This guy is awful, he keeps in Macro Cosmos vs Wind Ups. Why????
Result: OXO

Round 3: LFN (Toy Story) vs Avi (Dark World)
I win the dice roll again again
G1: I was so happy when he used up his Solemn Judgment. I used the stupid Volcasaurus + Gaia Charger combo on his Grapha for game
G2: I was forced to Solemn his Heavy, but encountered little resistance afterwards
Result: OO

1 dark world duelist down, 12423143 to go!
I watched as an evil mist enveloped him and forcibly dragged him down to the underworld

Round 4: LFN (Toy Story) vs Little Erik (Dino Rabbit)
I win the dice roll again again again
G1: I farm too much advantage off of Factory, and he can't come back
G2: I grind through both Laggia and Dolkka in consecutive turns, and he dies
Result: OO

Round 5: LFN (Toy Story) vs Will (Fire Fists)
I win the dice roll again again again again
G1: We trade Solemn Warning's, but he fails to draw monsters afterwards and dies to a swarm of XYZ
G2: He draws a stream of monsters / Tenkis to complement his 4 backrow, amasses infinite plusses, and I die
G3: I open Wind Up Rabbit and 5 traps. I keep drawing more Wind Up Rabbits and traps. His hand was full of monsters, so it was a rather unremarkable finish to what would have been a good match.
Result: OXO
I win!
Glory (and $24 store credit) is mine, etc

Monday, April 1, 2013

Goodbye [important!]

Dear reader, I am well aware that my posting frequency has been pretty minimal as of late (I am sure you have noticed too!). This is not by accident.

For the past little while, I have been otherwise engaged in activities completely unrelated to Yugioh.
Needless to say, the direction of the format and card design have gone completely against what Yugioh once was, leading me to seek a new direction, a new purpose, a new life.

After putting down my cards, and being inducted into a local Chinese Triad gang, The Red Pocket, I have seen the error of my ways, and want nothing to do with card games ever again. Mahjong, the popular Chinese tile game, has become my game of choice now, with my new locals consisting of secret backrooms in casinos and massage parlors.

Henceforth, this blog will be used to document the various tasks that I have been entrusted to carry out by my "Dai Gor" (literally translated as "Big Brother"), Purple Dragon.
These tasks will include, but are not limited to:

  • smuggling
  • trafficking
  • blackmail
  • assault
  • carjacking
  • drugs
  • drugs
  • drugs
  • drugs
  • drugs

I intend to embark on the quest to become a well-respected member of my gang, disposing of rival triads (such as Blue Panda and Golden Dynasty) and assorted Mexican cartels, and finally ascending to the fabled Asian Thug Hall of Fame. For the record, this is infinitely more prestigious than being a YCS Champion; you get a prize card for winning a YCS, ATHOF inductees get a golden gun

Subsequently, I will cease to post about ygo, as I explore more profitable (and also more illegal) ventures.

Goodbye